The honest truth is that I never liked pictures. For a long time it was hard to look at myself. I had so many insecurities and pictures only pointed them out to me. You see, I have spent so much time being overly critical of myself, over concerned of how others would see me, that I hid. I hid my laughter behind my hands, I hid my Woman-ness by slouching. I hid longings and desires under a blanket of Responsibilities.
Then something began to shift in me. Was it my growing older, wiser? Or was I just tired of hiding?
Having raised my kids, and surviving some of life’s lessons and losses, I wanted to seek out who I was, and I wanted to SHINE, like crystals, made by Life, polished by Environment.
I was ready to bask in my many facets.
I decided that I would re-launch me and my website with some “real” photos. So I began checking out other websites and contacting photographers. I knew that I did not want the typical boring “headshot” and wanted to show the world Me, with more weight, and yes, some wrinkles.
I chose Shannon Leith because I could feel her compassion and beliefs just jump off her website, and I was not wrong. She completely understood my Fear of being seen and the desire I had to release it. She was a great Coach at peeling away the layers of my insecurities, holding space for NATURAL BEAUTY. She captured what I felt inside, no poses, just genuinely me, BEING me.
AND, once the photos were ready, she held a Reflection session that allowed me to go over my photos with her, and discuss my feelings around them. I saw some that showed wrinkles in my hands, and surprisingly, I loved them. I was able to share with her how I once was a hand model and how my hands have aged and no longer do modeling, yet I was so proud of the Wisdom and Experience they showed. Talking that out was Priceless!
I am so thankful for Shannon Leith, her Heart, her Art, and her Seeing.
And I am so thankful for my Courage to be Seen!
Now I wonder “why did I waste so much time hiding?” So Silly…
And I remember the Child-hood game of Hide n’ Seek. At which you did your best to hide, then felt the nervous anxiety of being found, and yet if the game went on too long, it was boring. And then you secretely wanted to be found. To Be Seen. To be an active part of the Play.
There is Freedom in Being Found.
Do you ever feel like you are Hiding?
Tag, your It!